Confidence is a difficult emotion to evoke and control, some days you’re on fire and things flow so easily. Other days, you’re stomach is a mess, you feel your heart sink at the thought of a high pressure situation, and you start questioning your decisions and things you say.
To say you’ll be able to be completely confident for the rest of your life in any situation, well, that is practically being superhuman.
We have to be afraid or nervous, or else how else are we suppose to understand what’s a challenge and what is not
When I started working in marketing it was a direct switch from being completely solo, not ever having to communicate with others to jumping on calls pratically everyday.
As an adolescent I winced when the phone rang, as I thought it would always mean impending doom, these days it isn’t even a through that enters my mind to answer.
Stop Worrying So Much
One of the main thoughts I need to tell myself as my confidence is in question is “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Putting everything into perspective minimizes the overwhelming feeling that reduces your ability to be confident.
What concerns people the most is looking like a fool. I’ve learned very quickly that people who act a fool can end up doing incredible things in their life. Richard Branson says “If You Have To Make A Fool Of Yourself, Do It” the more you put yourself out there the more amazing things can and will happen.
As soon as you stop caring so much, you loosen up and attract more good feelings.
It may seem like a trusim, for myself I’m continually reminding myself don’t sweat it, recently in the Last Dance, Michael Jordan was described as always being in the moment and not thinking about “Why would I think about missing a shot I haven’t taken yet”.
Confidence is Muscle
Repetition was key, and the confidence to be able to handle what ever came my way.
If you’re crap at something, do more of it, not confident in public speaking, do more speaking.
Over time it’s an inevitability of learning from what works and what doesn’t. You’ll find the shortcuts, you’ll get feedback from others, and eventually stop worrying about the anticipation of doing the “nerve wrecking” act.
I have to do at least 60 seconds of raw pitching in front of a group of about 20 people each week, and look sometimes I’m not the coolest in the room with it, I stumble my words or it doesn’t flow as naturally as it could. And most of the time it’s because I haven’t prepped what I wanted to say.
I’ve always wanted to be an extremely good improviser when it comes to being on-stage, however for my confidence to be at it’s peak, a little preparation is required. That’s fine, don’t hold yourself to this insurmountable standard you have to be the best at something.
You’re out of your depth and will be exposed for being a fraud, or not being worthy of being in the room.
I’ve told this to many friends before around dating. My mindset before going on a first date with a girl is, if I try to hard to be confident, I’ll look weird, stop caring about how well it’s going to go and be in the moment, speak from the heart.
To be confident make it personal, draw from your experiences more than anything. Once something is person and has had an impact on your emotionally, it’s much easier to talk about with more gravitas.
Be Your Own Superhero & Smile
The most well–known and versatile high power pose is nicknamed Superhero Pose. I went to a few talks by Justin Dry from Vinomofo, if you’ve hear his story about failing numerous times to get his grandisoe ideas into a fully fledged powerhouse business.
He mentioned using this technique in hard times, looking at himself in the mirror, hands on the hips, and imagining a red cape flowing behind him.
If you’re feeling unnerved before your next presentation, sales pitch, client call, date, wedding — pause for a minute and get into this stance.
For an extra boost, smile, get those good feelings going! This will diminish your cortisol and improving your capacity to deal with pressure.
Science behind the “power pose”
Watch this video for more insights on the benefits of the power pose by Amy Cuddy, a Harvard researcher.